Getting Confidence living and dressing as a Woman

Getting Confidence living and dressing as a Woman

 When I was in male form I was very introverted and found it hard talking to people. As for parties and groups of people, I would find a corner or quiet place waiting for an opportunity to exit without being noticed by anyone. Crowds of people or eating in cafes I could not cope with, I would eat as fast as possible and felt that every eye was upon me. So the thought of transitioning was something that I thought would be very difficult if not impossible. But if I was to transform I would need to overcome my reserve. I had never gone out of the house dressed as Ina, but the time came when I had no choice but to dress as a woman. I chose a visit to my psychiatrist. I put on a knee length black skirt and a cream coloured blouse. Then I drove one hour to my appointment. I needed to take a lift to the first floor and another lady came into the lift she was very nice and asked if it was raining outside, this put me at ease. The interview went well and the doctor said he would give me my papers in a year of fulltime presenting as a woman. As I came out of the building a clap of thunder rang out wow I thought God missed with that lightning strike.   

After that we went to one of Melbourne’s biggest malls. While we were there Mary asked if I would like to have an engagement ring. This was such a loving gesture on her part as she was having trouble with my transitioning. As I mentioned this was on the first time out of the house dressed as a woman. The year passed and I slowly grew more accustomed to living full time as a woman, but I still had the usual problems of not being able to cope with people. When walking down the street I would look straight ahead and not at any one. If I needed to talk to someone I would look at something behind them or their ear. 

   This is how I would cope and it continued on till the wonderful day when I met Dayse in Bangkok we has srs at the same time and by Dr.Saran. She is the most wonderful outgoing person I have ever met. When we were well enough to get around we would go down to the restaurant in the hospital. Dayse would make a grand entrance and would have every waiter either blushing or smiling. She looks absolutely gorgeous and has a confidence that is very contagious. By her example I learnt to look people in the face and smile if for some reason I don’t get a response or get a negative response then I will give a little wave. For some reason people will usually respond to a smile in a positive way, and a wave in response. Dayse showed that she had respect for others. In the passage in the hospital there is provision for family groups to have tea there would often be a group if men of middle eastern extraction some very old Mullahs and younger men, as we would walk past she would greet the older men with a respectful greeting and receive a reply, but the young men she would give her cheeky smile. If it was not for Dayse I would have rushed past feeling embarrassed that the older men would be insulted or look down on me, but after that I would then greet then with a smile.

    Shopping  with Dayse  was an experience in Bangkok, I’m 6’2” and Dayse is only a little shorter so walking around the shops we would get quite a lot of looks but not hostile, so this also helped me realize that people looked at us because we were so attractive (well Dayse was). She is now my lovely sister and very matched loved.

    Not all of us have the privilege to know a Dayse to guide us but we can associate with friends that have a positive attitude to life. These may be male, genetic females, transgender friends, and family love ones. The main thing is to keep in mind that we are not alone on our journey, there are a lot of us out there and we all need to help each other as much as possible so try and not isolate yourself.